Emotional support is always crucial, but is especially necessary during a divorce. Going through a divorce may be the most difficult and busiest time of your life. Kevin Shupperd understands that as an experienced Boise and Meridian divorce attorney. He shares his best advice on how to get emotional support during a divorce and why it is important. Taking care of yourself should be a priority, not an after-thought!
1. Start activities and hobbies
Sign up for gym membership. Start a different exercise routine. Take up that hobby you have been wanting to try; maybe it’s fishing, knitting, hiking, or painting. Find healthy activities to distract yourself from the situation. Exercising is especially great because it allows you to blow off steam. According to healthline.com, “research from 2011 suggests endorphin release occurs after 30 minutes of exercise.” Endorphins naturally reduce pain and boost your mood. In general, activities like these mentioned will help you destress in a healthy, productive way. In contrary, do NOT turn to unhealthy activities like alcohol and drugs. Many are depressants and overall will make the coping situation worse.
2. Join social gatherings
Immersing yourself in social gatherings will take your mind off of the divorce and give you a new fresh group of friends. Some social gathering ideas include: church groups, golf clubs, hunting groups, book clubs, and more. Find an organization that aligns with your interests, hobbies, or values and join to socialize with like-minded people. Creating these new positive interactions are beneficial when in the divorce process. Opposingly, do NOT consider work your social time. Be careful with how much you work during stressful times, because over-working or taking on larger workloads can often cause more stress. Find gatherings outside of work!
3. Be cautious of who you share information with
Being such a difficult time in your life, you may naturally want to talk to someone about your situation. You don’t want to share too much with other people. In times of hardship, you could say things you don’t mean and that could come back to hurt you in a court of law. Be cautious of who you are sharing information with because you don’t want to confide in the wrong people. Remember you can always share information and details with your attorney or a professional counselor.
Journaling is a relief of stress and a place to let out all of your thoughts. It takes everything from internal to external. Expressing your emotions in writing will allow you to clear out all of your concerns and feelings onto paper. Evaluating your situation and validating your emotions while journaling gives you perspective. According to The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, “in a 2006 study, nearly 100 young adults were asked to spend 15 minutes journaling or drawing about a stressful event, or writing about their plans for the day, twice during one week. The people who journaled saw the biggest reduction in symptoms like depression, anxiety, and hostility, particularly if they were very distressed to begin with.” This journal does not have to be read by anyone, but will help you cope mentally and emotionally.
5. Focus on your children
Divorce will be hard on your children too. It is important to maintain relationships with your children through the process. This will be of benefit for your mental and emotional health and for your children’s wellbeing as well. Talk to your children about the changes that they may be noticing due to the divorce. Allow them to confide in you. Listen to your children’s needs and concerns. Remember to also talk to them and support them outside of matters with the divorce. Talk to them about school, extracurriculars, activities, hobbies, and passions! A strong relationship with your children will also help when you are fighting for custody.
6. Reach out to professional counselors
Reaching out to professional help is by no way an easy thing to do, but Kevin believes it is one of the most productive actions you can take. Counselors can guide you through the emotions you are feeling and discover healthy ways to cope. Professional help will take time and cost money, but it is an investment that is well worth the pay off. Getting mental health help is common and beneficial. According to the CDC, “in 2019, 19.2% of adults had received mental health treatment in the past 12 months…” Consider finding professionals who know how to help you through this difficult time in your life.
7. Be transparent with your attorney
There are things your attorney can help with if they know about it. Be sure to share all information with your attorney. Withholding pertinent knowledge of your situation could lead to consequences like additional attorney fees or sanctions. Shupperd Law provides Boise and Nampa with divorce attorney services and is here to help and support you through your divorce. Kevin protects his clients and truly wants what is best for them. He takes each individual situation into consideration. With years of experience, Kevin will know the most advantageous steps to take. Contact Kevin and schedule a consultation to see how he can assist you.